What and Where Is Your Happiness?

What is your happiness? Do you even know what or where it is? Are you afraid of your happiness?

I’ve been working on finding my happiness or should I say happinesses. Sometimes I forget that I have happiness in many different aspects, in different moments, feelings, activities, shapes. Sometimes my happinesses last for seconds, minutes, hours, and days. But it always passes which is apart of happiness. It can’t last forever.

Yes, that’s the phrase we all hate to hear, “It can’t last forever.” because we never want the happiness to leave. We want to be happy forever and never feel sad or hurt. Our goal is to always be happy but that’s not life. Happiness is fleeting but only in that specific moment. It finds its way back to us even if it takes longer than we’d like.

For me happiness is something I feel a lot of guilt having and truly feeling. This is a topic I’ve spoken about many times. The guilt that I am privileged to experience sincere happiness when my brothers, Josh and Adam, and my Bubba (my step-dad) no longer get to have is heartbreaking. The guilt, in an instant, can be paralyzing. My happiness disappears and I feel angry or sadness about losing them. And people say, “But they would want you to be happy.” or “They wouldn’t want you to feel this way.” That doesn’t change the emotions I bear during these times. It makes no difference what they would want, it’s how I feel.

So what is MY happiness? How do I find it and accept it? I have started telling myself that I’m worthy of happiness. That no matter what I have or haven’t done in my life, no matter what I have or haven’t said in my past, I am worthy of feeling happiness. And since happiness leaves us so quickly, I can’t allow a split second of it to pass without fully participating in that moment.

So some of my happinesses come from little things and big events. My happiness is living back in Texas where I am able to be physically active each day. I can walk my pups in the morning and the evenings no matter the time of year. My happiness is being with my nontraditional family of my significant other and our pups. My happiness is laying on the couch with my dogs and man watching tv. It’s tasting that delicious dessert I’ve been craving for days (sometimes weeks!) and just allowing the pleasure of tasting it to take over my mind and body. My happiness is getting a text of the campsite where my Dad is staying or a SnapChat filtered picture from my Mom. My happiness is having a career that I enjoy. My happiness is planning for my future and things I want to accomplish. My happiness is laying in the sun reading a book. My happiness is talking with my best friends. My happiness is exploring new cities.

But I also have happiness in other aspects. My happiness comes from learning to love myself. Looking at myself in the mirror and actually LOOKING at myself. The happiness of being able to enjoy being myself fully and completely. The happiness of setting goals for myself and knowing I can accomplish them all. My happiness is knowing that I have talents and I cannot waste them any longer.

So, I’ve found happiness again. And yes, it’s always fleeting just like yours. But we have to know that we are worthy of our own happiness. A happiness that no one else can give us but ourselves. A happiness that no one else can take away from us. Remember, we can never be happy always. We have to have moments of growth in pain and anguish. And happiness may hide away from time to time. But keep working on finding that happiness again because you are worthy of it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you are. If I’m worthy of it, so are you.

 

7 Comments

  1. Oh, I disagree! Bliss is fleeting, but happiness is always there. We just have to accept it.

    Pain is part of our life. It comes from having a physical body, and existence in the material world. We cannot avoid pain. But suffering is optional. Suffering is our choice.

    There are people in the world who are victims of the most appalling tragedy, and yet at the same time full of happiness and love. They refuse to let events dictate their self.

    If you could always be happy, what price would you set on that? Some high value, to be sure.

    And yet we are always giving it away for a trifle. How many times have you lost something trivial? A dollar bill blows out of your hand and you are grumpy all day long. You cannot find your glasses or your phone and the world is set against you. You find that you have to pay a nickel more in sales tax than you thought, and you storm out of the store because you paid five cents extra. A cloud hangs over you.

    Happiness is worth a nickel, a dollar, a pair of glasses. Apparently.

    Like

    1. I’m just now seeing this. I enjoyed reading you view on the subject and agree with it.

      Unfortunately, I believe that people who go through a lot of trauma and tragedy at time put on a front of happiness because they understand pain in a manner most don’t. They would rather give happiness than to be apart of someone else’s sadness. But I am not saying all do or that they never have happiness.

      Again, thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. ♥️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If it is the appearance of happiness, it is not happiness.

        Perhaps that sort of thing is manners, or play-acting. But we don’t need a verbal answer to the question “are you happy?“ to know. Happiness shines out. Like someone in love, it glows.

        Pain and suffering are different things. As are happiness and pleasure.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. We should definitely learn to spot happiness and appreciate it. It is there, we just have to see it. This was such a beautiful reminder for me! It is time to stop and smell the flowers. Enjoy it and appreciate it. 💗

    Liked by 1 person

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